60+ days and CLEAN!

It almost sounds like and AA statement of accomplishment! I must apologize profusely for leaving all of you hanging for almost 17 days...it is a weird thing, My cancer diagnosis was in March and here I am in July declared "cancer free"? First let me tell you my results are CLEAN, no signs of myeloma cells, so unofficially...or officially (depending which doctor you speak with) I am in REMISSION! Praise and glory be to God! I do have the 100 day check on October 2nd with the marrow transplant physician that will give me the "real" OK, but I am good to go!

I have to tell you, I don't think I really grasp the reality that I had/have cancer. I am not even sure how to refer to my illness as "here but gone/or maybe hiding", something that is "gone but waiting for it to return"...? OR, was "it" really here (or has this all been a bad, 6 month dream)? At this time, there is NO CURE for MM (Multi-Myeloma). However, there really has not been enough time for the research to prove itself, it could be true; one marrow transplant could do the trick. Some marrow transplants last 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. At 54, if I get 10 years then at 64, surely things must have improved...is it possible that Myeloma won't be the cause of my leaving this earth? .........Woah! Pretty thought provoking. ......just wanted you guys to know at times I am just plain "scared"! Not scare to die, because I am not afraid of death, but I have so much to do....don't I? After all, these are human thoughts and I am human! Right? j/j

Here is a little recap of what MM is: MM is a cancer of the plasma cells in my blood. Plasma cells are white blood cells that make antibodies, which help the immune system recognize and fight infections. Plasma cells collect in the bone marrow--the soft, spongy inner core of the bones. They then travel into the blood stream, where the circulate throughout the body. Myeloma carries an extra tag word, "multi," because it typically affects multiple sites within the bone. The MM cells that take over are damaged and produce genetically "damaged" (soften word for malignant) plasma cells. These damaged cells collect in the bone marrow and continue to divide uncontrollably. These cells take over, crowding out healthy plasma cells leaving nothing to fight against disease. In addition MM cells can cause damage to the bones and kidneys, which has shown evident in my body scans. MM cells are kind of like terminates...but instead of eating from the outside, in...MM cells live in the marrow, they eat from the inside~ out...causing bone to look like "swiss cheese" and eventually collapse or crumble if not treated. This was the case with my back rib bone....the MM cells had collected in one spot and just "grew" out (tumorous) causing what is termed a "destructive-bony lesion."

I still have so much to learn about MM, and I am waiting for additional body scans so that a comparison can be made from the one taken in late February. Hopefully, I will have insurance clearance for these scans soon. Something that doesn't let me truly forget this cancer is the pain that I still carry in my spine, ribs and hip joints. These are all areas diagnosed as "diseased" from my first scan. I am anxious to see if there are more dark spots, indicating diseased areas, more than what were on the first scan, or if I have more destructive lesions. Do you remember my L1 on my spine, collapsed because it was diseased riddled? Here is where I get a little lost...I believe, because my marrow is "clean" I should not have new lesions or tumors because the MM cell would show in the marrow biopsy.........So I have to hold to this!


I ask that you give thanksgiving (by the religious means that you live your life) to God for his incredible mercy in regards to my healing. As you must know by now, I am Christian and believe wholly Jesus is the son of God, my personal savior, and that the bible is God's word. I use God's word, the bible, and prayer for direction in my life. Having said that, I will re-quote one scripture that has kept me stable throughout all of this (but don't forget, there are so many of them!), however, this one is so simple...I just love it. Psalms 50:15 "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” Yes, it sounds elementary for how difficult life can be at times, but that is the beauty of of it all...it can be that simple. Not easy, just simple. I love to give all the glory to God.

I am so thankful for all the support, love, special thoughts and prayer that you, my friends and family have devoted to me! ~ much love, T.