Didn't Reach the "Fork"

As promised a recent photo! August 30, 2010 Terry is 55!


Sorry for the long wait, but it looks like I haven’t made it to the fork in the road yet. Some of you might remember, or you can read back, basically…after this last biopsy (Sept 8th), I was to be at a “fork in the road..” One way would be remission, if not it would be the other way, back to looking for a different treatment. Well, according to my last test, I am at neither place just yet. That is GOOD news. I really don’t want to hear, “this treatment is not working.”



Last June my marrow showed 60% plasma cells (plasma is a nice word for cancer), and now I am showing only 30% plasma cells. Now, while that is not “remission,” NE status (no evidence of cancer cells), it is still very good news because it does show that my present treatment IS WORKING. Amen! I am not yet in remission but I still could get there in a few months or so. The most important thing is the Velcade is still working and killing the cancer cells. It is just taking a little longer. Right now I am finishing my 4th cycle of chemo and I am not sure if I will take a 5th or do a break. I am sure they will be taking another biopsy within a few months to see where I stand.




I do feel great. I have very little pain now, just tired, but that is to be expected. So keep praying for remission. I know it is coming. My blood is 100% donor, and my marrow is 92% donor. I didn’t realize that there was a difference between the two. So we are waiting for those last few bad cells of mine to get killed off ,out of the marrow, and we will be in good shape.



Here is some fun news! AJ, Lazar and Teal left for Germany last Wednesday for 10 days. They are attending the 200 anniversary of the Octoberfest, and their hotel is right in the middle of it all. Between the 3 of them, liters and liters of beer are being consumed, along with shank meat and kraut! I estimate a substantial weight gain for all. I talk and text with AJ daily and they are having the time of their lives. Lots of male bonding! Keli and I are not so sad that we were left behind, because BEER is not our thing. When they get back, I will post a photo. This is a trip that AJ has been planning for years. I am so happy he was able to make it, and I pray for their safe return.



Love to you all. T.


What is faith?
"It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead." Hebrews 11:1

Miracle~Absolutely No Matter the Results

First let me tell you I am feeling really good. Stronger everyday. Cut my pain patch in 1/2 back to what I was using when I started and my blood counts were really up yesterday. It has been two weeks shy of six months, 1/2 way to the year!

A few weeks back I saw someone that I haven’t seen in a long time. She said to me, “ you are already a miracle.” It was an odd thing for me to hear. Was I? I have incurable cancer, I am not in remission, I have been categorized as critical….ok, how is that a miracle?

If you know me and have kept up with my blog, you know I depend strongly on my Christian faith. I believe in prayer and that God does answer prayer. Maybe not the way I want, but nonetheless, he is here with me and does answer me. After all, I have and excellent physician team, I was in remission from my auto-transplant for at least 4 months, I have responded extremely well to all chemo treatments, I got just the right amount of GVHD….my prayers (and those of the hundreds that are praying and sending good thoughts with me), are being answered!

I am at a critical fork, remission or, I still have the nasty aggressive cancer and need more treatment. I have finished my 3^rd round of chemo and yesterday they did testing. I will know something preliminary and the bulk of the results next week. Many of you went with me on a 21 daily prayer through this last chemo, to ask, believe and receive remission. I nicknamed this round, REMISSION ROUND and claimed its victory. Today is day 21! Amen.

What if it is not remission? Did God blow off my prayers? Am I not a miracle? Hard questions….I want you all to know that God does not blow prayers off. God is good! If you allow him he will be with you always, as he is with me. God did not bring this cancer to me. We live in a ungodly, unfair, and injustice world. In closing I am going to quote Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, from When Bad Things Happen to Good People, “And what about your prayers?...Were then left unanswered? You face a situation that could easily have broken your spirit, a situation that could have left you a bitter, withdrawn…incapable of responding to promise of being alive. Somehow that did not happen. Somehow you found the resiliency to go on living and caring about things. Like Jacob in the Bible, like every one of us at one time or another, you faced a scary situation, prayed for help, and found out that you were a lot stronger, and a lot better able to handle it, than you every would have thought you were." I have read a lot of self help, spiritual, and cancer books, but these few words really hit home for me.

In short, I love my prayer time. God has answered my prayers just by letting me know that I have such a strong multi-religious community supporting me and I know that I am not alone. And yes! I am already a MIRACLE! Amen.

I will post results soon….within the week! Love to you all and I will post a new family photo. I am now 55! Yeah.