First let me tell you I am feeling really good. Stronger everyday. Cut my pain patch in 1/2 back to what I was using when I started and my blood counts were really up yesterday. It has been two weeks shy of six months, 1/2 way to the year!
A few weeks back I saw someone that I haven’t seen in a long time. She said to me, “ you are already a miracle.” It was an odd thing for me to hear. Was I? I have incurable cancer, I am not in remission, I have been categorized as critical….ok, how is that a miracle?
If you know me and have kept up with my blog, you know I depend strongly on my Christian faith. I believe in prayer and that God does answer prayer. Maybe not the way I want, but nonetheless, he is here with me and does answer me. After all, I have and excellent physician team, I was in remission from my auto-transplant for at least 4 months, I have responded extremely well to all chemo treatments, I got just the right amount of GVHD….my prayers (and those of the hundreds that are praying and sending good thoughts with me), are being answered!
I am at a critical fork, remission or, I still have the nasty aggressive cancer and need more treatment. I have finished my 3rd round of chemo and yesterday they did testing. I will know something preliminary and the bulk of the results next week. Many of you went with me on a 21 daily prayer through this last chemo, to ask, believe and receive remission. I nicknamed this round, REMISSION ROUND and claimed its victory. Today is day 21! Amen.
What if it is not remission? Did God blow off my prayers? Am I not a miracle? Hard questions….I want you all to know that God does not blow prayers off. God is good! If you allow him he will be with you always, as he is with me. God did not bring this cancer to me. We live in a ungodly, unfair, and injustice world. In closing I am going to quote Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, from When Bad Things Happen to Good People, “And what about your prayers?...Were then left unanswered? You face a situation that could easily have broken your spirit, a situation that could have left you a bitter, withdrawn…incapable of responding to promise of being alive. Somehow that did not happen. Somehow you found the resiliency to go on living and caring about things. Like Jacob in the Bible, like every one of us at one time or another, you faced a scary situation, prayed for help, and found out that you were a lot stronger, and a lot better able to handle it, than you every would have thought you were." I have read a lot of self help, spiritual, and cancer books, but these few words really hit home for me.
In short, I love my prayer time. God has answered my prayers just by letting me know that I have such a strong multi-religious community supporting me and I know that I am not alone. And yes! I am already a MIRACLE! Amen.
I will post results soon….within the week! Love to you all and I will post a new family photo. I am now 55! Yeah.
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I love you Mom!
ReplyDeleteLazar
Love and prayers to you, Terry!!!
ReplyDeleteMeghan
Terry,
ReplyDeleteGod is listening! and he will continue to hear us loud and clear. Thank you Lord!
Terry, may you have many more blessings.
Barbara
You are most definitely a miracle to us. Your faith in God and Jesus is inspiring to all. Happy Birthday! To God be the glory, forever and ever.
ReplyDeleteContinuous daily prayers for you.
Lots of love,
Pat, Patricia, Tyler and Kayla
Terry,
ReplyDeletehi, I have not known what you have been going through. I spoke with Karen recently and she informed. I can only send prayers and agree with you that God hears and His path for us is known and we must accept and deal with its twists and turns and bumps and rocks and flowers and soft grasses as we move forward toward its destination. I read that book when Bubba died, it was still hard to understand so much pain and heartache. Why was my path so destroyed. I could not understand. But you know I survived and inspite of the cruelness of others. You at least have AJ, so you are never alone, that is a blessing. In June I was found at my house unconscious and hemmorhaging. I knew I had a tumor but no insurance, was trying to wait to be able to pay. My body and God said no. My hemaglobin was at 7. Not Good, the emergency hysterectomy was very painful and this forced menopause sucks. The tumor was larger than I could feel and nothing could be saved. But I am still here, my path is rocky now but there will be a smooth part soon I hope. You just keep going. And you must keep going. I will pray for you and with you, and ask that you keep your courage and strong commitment to your family. As a Mom, we continue always for them. Michael has returned again from Iraq, I did not get to see him before he was stationed to the Pacific Rim Intelligence Unit in Honolulu, but he is safe and with his family (wife and two boys). Vanessa is married, and John finally married a girl this May. I am still single and alone, that part is sad but I have to heal and help myself out of this state. I tell myself in due time but God's time for us is only known to him. So we pray. I believe in your healing and hope you accept my good wishes to you and the blessings that surround you. God Bless, Cindy